Goodbye

It's a good thing that I asked for a leave today. I'm a wreck. It's still so fresh that if I had to go on air today, I'd get too choked-up when playing a song about goodbye or one about missing someone (we've got a few new ones on the playlist).

I can't begin to describe the aching in my chest that I feel for my daughter. It's like someone reached in there and ripped my heart and lungs out. Far worse than any broken heart. She's my little girl, really a part of me.

I keep thinking about all the good times we've had, and how I don't know when I'll ever get to be with her again. I also dwell on my shortcomings as a dad, however small, and how I regret not doing better.

Friday is my day off, so I have another day to grieve before having to go on air. At least my first show back will be "The Blend". The a cappella music really is good therapy.

I really don't know when I'll be back to normal again. Maybe I don't want to be. Maybe I just want to keep missing her. I dont know.