Getting started again

When you're in a rut, sometimes just getting started is the hardest part. Gaining some momentum, is often easier. My recent slump was the worst I've ever had.

So I tried to consult some senior DJ friends of mine for advice. The responses were similar...
- Strip your show down. Make it simple
- Don't try too hard on air.
- Enjoy your boardwork, they way you did when you were new.

I guess I have been trying a little too hard. I was trying pack my show with so much stuff, hoping it would make up for my shortcomings (lack of focus, depression, etc.). I guess I overdid it and ended up doing enough research and newswriting for 2 or 3 people.

Over the past week I've simplified my shows a little. Instead of multi-tasking or trying to do fancy things, I'm just trying to focus on the basics.

My boardwork is still very far from being great. I'm not even sure if my shows are even good yet. But I think I'm at least on my way there, even if I'm progressing slowly.

I suck

They say that you're only as good as your last work. Well, over the past weeks, my depression has made me worse and worse as a DJ.

It seems like a number of things lately have just been beating down on me:
*Holiday shopping makes me chance upon so many things that I would've loved to get for my daughter.
*Aside from a couple of 5-minute phone calls, I haven't really spoken to Nica in well over a month.
*My officemate brought his daughter to work, and observing their dynamic made me miss Nica so much.
*We have a poster in the booth of the Barney performances at Araneta. (Nica would've loved to see it.)

Anyway, I've been so out of it lately that I've been messing up left and right, especially earlier today when I had unexpected students in the booth wanting an impromptu interview while I was on board.

I know I should try to look only at the positive things. Believe me, I've been doing my best to do that. But maybe I just to get to the worst of it all first.

I hope the holidays go by quickly, so I can finally get over the hump. I just hate how all of this is affecting me, especially the way my programs sound on air.

Giving thanks

Of all the western customs and traditions, Thanksgiving has got to be the the best one. I did a bunch of research on the history of the holiday for my trivia segment "Info Jam".

Over the past several months, I've been quite down due to a whole bunch of personal issues (health, family problems, etc.). But to start off Thanksgiving weekend, I decided to make a list of some things I should be thankful to God for.

* I'm still alive.
* I'm not homeless nor hungry.
* I have a wife and kids who love me.
* I have a job that I love.

Of course, there are lots of other things I can be thankful for. But of course, the basic things are the ones that we often forget about.

Thanksgiving may have started as a North American tradition, but maybe it should be something that the rest of the world can practice too.

"Is it hard being a DJ?" (My latest rant)

This is a question I get asked by almost every college student who has ever interviewed me for a school project. The answer is "yes and no". If you have the talent, it's easy do become a Disc Jockey. Lots of announcers are even able to cruise by, based on talent alone. But to be a DJ that presents a good show, is extremely difficult.

Due to lure of big money from call centers, finding talent has become a lot harder. So anyone with even the slightest amount of potential, can find work as an announcer. After being oriented, these DJs can actually get by doing as little work as possible. They come in, intro and extro songs, make a few comments and then fancy themselves good broadcasters.

Producing a good Radio show, on the other hand, is extremely difficult. It takes a lot of hard work and preparation. It takes hours of research, pre-production and conceptualization. One of my Radio idols, Dan O'Day, recommends working an hour on your show for every our you spend on air. I'm sure, not many DJs do that nowadays.

If you listen to local radio carefully, it's quite obvious which announcers put real effort into their shows. The ones that do, have shows filled with content, bits and segments. The ones that don't do much research and production, usually just chit-chat about a bunch of trivial things and churn out a lot of corny one-liners.

It's sad that an industry so highly regarded by the general public is disrespected by the very people who are in it. I have to admit that the state of Local FM Radio has somehow made me lose my drive. It's tough to stay motivated to constantly put a lot of hard work into your show, while others put in so little effort.

The Last of the First

A couple of weeks ago Harry (one of our former DJs) passed by the station. Then last week, Louise (who just resigned) had her "despedida" at the office. It was then that it him me. I'm the last of the original Jocks still working at Jam 88.3.

I joined the crew back in 2003 when plans were being made to reformat Citylite. Harry, Louise and Claudine (who recently retired to pursue other interests) were the only carry-overs from the previous on-air staff. Over the course of time, people from all the departments also have come and gone.

In all my previous jobs, I was always the newer guy. I was the younger one joining a staff that had been around longer and was more experienced. This is the first time that I've been one of the senior members of a company. Just thinking about it makes me feel old.

Bright spots

Last week wasn't a great one for me. I wasn't able to catch my daughter online at all, and at work, we had to take extended shifts (which can be quite tiring when you do them alone at a pop station).

The end weekend went a little better. I finally saw Nica online and talked with her for a few minutes. I also had a great time doing my a cappella show "The Blend", since The Bystanders performed live in the booth (They were great).

This week we're back to our regular schedules and I couldn't be more relieved. It's not that I'm lazy, but adjusting to personal problems are more difficult when you're out of your routine at work.

Dealing with the empttness

It has been over a month since my ex took my daughter to Denmark and I can say that I'm doing a little better now. I no longer let my depression consume me or break down several times a day.

There's still that constant longing that I feel though; that emptiness inside of me. I guess it'll never go away, since Nica will always be a part of me.

But I am doing better. Although it hurts as much as ever, I guess I've just learned to temporarily forget. I block it out of my mind so I can get on with my day.

Goodbye Louise

Thursday was a pretty sad day at Jam 88.3. It was DJ Louise's last day on air (she's moving back to Dubai) and the Jocks in particular were getting quite emotional. I myself was thinking of all the times we've had together.

Louise was just a trainee when Citylite went under and was carried over when the station relaunched as Jam in 2003. Over the years, we've all seen Louise come into her own. She's gone from being the wide-eyed newbie of the station to becoming a young mother and seasoned DJ.

Louise and I have developed a special bond, and I've come to think of her as a sister. We were partners on-air for a while and in 2005 I was honored to be the best man at her wedding.

Being the only married Jocks just helped to strengthen that relationship. Chy and I have found it quite easy to relate with Louise and Myron on so many levels. We would even joke that our kids would end up together.

Jam won't be the same without Louise. She is one of those people that gets along with everyone. She was really one of those that helped give the Jam office the "family" atmosphere that other stations would envy.

Although our life paths are taking separate directions now and I'm sad to see her go, I'm happy that what's happening is for the good of her family.